The Book of Forgiving

The Book of Forgiving

The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

Book - 2014
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Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Nobel Peace Prize winner, Chair of The Elders, and Chair of South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission, along with his daughter, the Reverend Mpho Tutu, offer a manual on the art of forgiveness--helping us to realize that we are all capable of healing and transformation.

Tutu's role as the Chair of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission taught him much about forgiveness. If you asked anyone what they thought was going to happen to South Africa after apartheid, almost universally it was predicted that the country would be devastated by a comprehensive bloodbath. Yet, instead of revenge and retribution, this new nation chose to tread the difficult path of confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation.

Each of us has a deep need to forgive and to be forgiven. After much reflection on the process of forgiveness, Tutu has seen that there are four important steps to healing: Admitting the wrong and acknowledging the harm; Telling one's story and witnessing the anguish; Asking for forgiveness and granting forgiveness; and renewing or releasing the relationship. Forgiveness is hard work. Sometimes it even feels like an impossible task. But it is only through walking this fourfold path that Tutu says we can free ourselves of the endless and unyielding cycle of pain and retribution. The Book of Forgiving is both a touchstone and a tool, offering Tutu's wise advice and showing the way to experience forgiveness. Ultimately, forgiving is the only means we have to heal ourselves and our aching world.

Publisher: New York : HarperOne, c2014
Edition: 1st ed
ISBN: 9780062203564
Branch Call Number: 179 .9 TUT
Characteristics: 229 p. :,22 cm
Additional Contributors: Abrams, Douglas Carlton
Tutu, Mpho A.


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Apr 24, 2018

Nobel Laureate Desmond Tutu joins his daughter Mpho Tutu, who shares a traumatic experience, in outlining a four-step path to forgiveness. Telling your story is the first step, to a kind listener, written down secretly or even shared publicly, if not to the person you are trying to forgive. Tips for listeners are provided, including not to question the facts, one of the features of South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission. The second step is naming the hurt, which can also be healing. In the third step of actually granting forgiveness, we’re encouraged to see the other person as a flawed human just as we are. The final step is renewing or releasing the relationship. Many examples are provided where an amazing new story was created from the renewal of the relationship, but even if renewal is not possible or advisable, creating a new story can transform a victim into a hero. Guidance is also provided on how to ask for forgiveness of another, and how to forgive ourselves. Meditations, journal exercises, and poems are offered to deepen the process. We are encouraged to keep practicing until we learn to forgive automatically. The potential for peace when forgiveness is exercised at the national level or international level is also touched on.

Nov 05, 2017

It's the best book on grief that I've ever come across. Each chapter contains helpful invitations to reflect upon, guided meditations to help manage the stress of the topic and journal activities. I found myself wanting to highlight passages of the book, so I ended up buying a copy of the book for my own bookshelf.

Oct 18, 2015

This is worth reading. I found it the tools useful and relevant, even for smaller problems. I bought it for myself.

LaughingOne Sep 07, 2014

Quite interesting. Good tools and much to think about.

Jul 10, 2014

The book was well laid out and useful.

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