The Hero's Guide to Storming the CastleBook - 2014
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The path to hero-hood will be fraught with danger, risk, and adversity. But it will all be worth it in the end when someone writes a factually incorrect song about you.
Drat, he thought. Looks like I picked a bad week to stop believing in myself.
(Briar) It's like you've never danced before in your life. A dead yak has more grace.
(Gustav) Is there a dead yak around here? 'Cause I'd happily change partners.
(Briar) Ooh, nice one. Which of your biceps thought up that zinger?
(Gustav) Jealous, Lady Twig-Arms?
(Briar) Me? Jealous of a man shaped like an upside-down triangle? Don't flatter yourself.
(Gustav) I wouldn't dream of it. Flattering yourself is what you do best.
"Listen up, Mount High-Hair," Gustav barked. "Say what you want about me, but lay off the rest of the team. I've been through a lot of stuff with these people. Nobody can tell me that Fancy Dancer and Lady Slick-Pants aren't heroes. Captain Gloom-Cape over there, too. And even Shrimp Charming has his moments."
Briar leaned back in her chair. "I admire your ability to insult your friends while you defend them. It's a rare talent."
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